The Conversations We Circle

Hello friends,

Lately, I’ve been noticing a familiar human dance. Someone needs to have a difficult conversation—with a colleague, a friend, someone they love.

And instead… we circle it. We rehearse the words. We delay. We convince ourselves it’s not the right time. Or maybe not our place. Our minds are remarkably creative when it comes to avoiding discomfort.

This theme has been surfacing around me lately—in our last Grounded Leader gathering, in a conversation with a friend, even in something my son was navigating.

And it brought back a memory from my recruiting days. Every Friday, I had a ritual: calling candidates who hadn’t gotten the job. Week after week, delivering disappointment. And every Friday, a small part of me hoped I’d get their voicemail. Before each call, I would carefully prepare the explanation. I’d search for the most irrefutable reason. Often something like:

“It’s the client, not you.”
“They’re looking for something slightly different.”
“You’re actually too senior for the role.”

I told myself I was being thoughtful. Kind, even. Mostly, I was trying to soften the blow. I would spend the entire call cushioning the news. Managing their feelings. Searching for just the right phrasing so the rejection would land gently. The last thing I wanted was an argument—or for someone to walk away feeling less than.

For a long time, I believed this was compassion. But eventually, I saw something else. Every time I over-softened a hard truth, I was making a quiet assumption: that the person on the other end couldn’t handle it. That they needed protecting. And hidden inside that assumption was something I hadn’t expected. A subtle form of disrespect.

Because when we protect people from reality, we also deny their strength to meet it. Not long after that realization, another one followed. I was doing the same thing with myself. Avoidance has always been one of my favorite paths. I let certain truths sit just out of focus—close enough to sense, far enough not to face.

Often it’s only in meditation that I finally see what I’ve been sidestepping. And it makes me wonder:

If I don’t trust others with honesty, why would I trust myself with it either?

There’s a reason difficult conversations feel so heavy. We’re not just afraid of the other person’s reaction. We’re afraid of what the truth might set in motion. Change. Discomfort. The moment after the words land—when nothing can be unsaid.

But here’s what those Friday calls eventually taught me. The candidates I dreaded calling the most… were usually fine. More than fine. Some later became clients. Some became successful placements. A few even became friends. Not in spite of that difficult conversation—but partly because of it. Because honesty created space for something real to unfold afterward.

The conversations we avoid the most often have the longest reach. And maybe the most generous thing we can offer—both to others and to ourselves—isn’t the perfect phrasing or the most carefully softened delivery. It’s the quiet belief that the other person can handle the truth. That we can too.

So if there’s a conversation you’ve been circling—with someone you care about, or even with yourself—maybe the question isn’t how to soften it. Maybe it’s this:

Do I believe this person is strong enough to hear it?

They are. And so are you.

Warmly,
Mathilde

Offerings

• The Grounded Leader — Final Weeks + New Website!

  The Grounded Leader pilot is entering its final two weeks, and I recently launched a new website to share more about the work.

  Since January, a small group of leaders has been experimenting with building a personal AI “Inner Coach” — a reflective partner designed to support clearer decisions and more grounded leadership. I’m gathering the insights from this first pilot and considering a second cohort. If you’re curious, I’d love to share more.

• AI Coach Studio — Build Your AI Strategic Partner
  A hands-on session where leaders build their own personal AI coach for reflection and decision-making. A small session may be in the works — if you’re curious, feel free to reach out.

• Dream Forward Visualization Series — Arrillaga Center

  Thursdays • 12:00–1:00 PM • Apr 16, 30 & May 14, 28
  A four-class series exploring the connection between dreams, intuition, and manifestation for returning and new students.

• Clairvoyant Reading Practice Circle — Arrillaga Center

  Thursdays • 12:00–1:00 PM • May 7 & June 4

  A supportive practice space to strengthen intuitive and clairvoyant reading skills through live group readings.

• Spring Intuitive Deepening (for Advanced Students)

  A supportive space for advanced students to deepen intuitive trust, refine their reading practice. Email me.

• Yoga Flow — Willow Workplace 

  Fridays • 12:00–1:00 PM
  Vinyasa-style classes held in Willow’s beautiful garden. Open to non-members.