Say It Like You Mean It

Hello friends,

I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to blend in. So much so, that I picked up the California accent without even realizing it. Often, strangers don’t believe I’m French. Born and raised. Without a long backstory, some assume I’m clinging to a fantasy identity to sound more interesting.

It’s kind of funny … and a little heartbreaking, because the last thing I ever want is to be pretentious. And yet, when we get too good at adapting, parts of us can start to fade. And I am not sure I want that.

So, I’ve been asking, what does it really mean to be real?

Not just in theory, but in conversation. In choices. In front of other humans. In the way we live.

For many of us, being real isn’t automatic. Sometimes, we shrink, trying not to ruffle feathers. Other times, we perform, trying to seem more polished, more confident, more “together” than we feel.

I’ve done both.

Growing up between cultures, I learned to watch closely, mimicking what felt “normal,” adjusting to avoid standing out. In Europe, I learned that nuance and subtlety mattered if you wanted to be accepted.

In California, blending in took a different shape. At work, it meant playing up experience, downplaying uncertainty, polishing what I thought would land. “Fake it till you make it.”

And, personally, it meant learning to take up space and that mistakes were part of the journey.

Maybe for you, blending in looked like joining a sports team or club and making it your identity. Maybe it means building a big career, or keeping a busy, impressive social life.

And honestly? Blending in isn't always so bad. A native accent. A good job. A place to belong.

So why does it matter to be real?

Because at some point, it becomes exhausting not to be.

Being real isn’t just about honesty, it’s about how we connect. How we build trust. How we feel alive in our own skin. Because when we’re not real, something in us starts to drift. We feel lonely and empty if the gap becomes too big. Being real brings us home, to ourselves and to each other.

Yet it’s not always so straightforward.

Being real, I’m learning, isn’t about being loud or being quiet. It’s about being aligned with what we believe. With what we feel. With what we mean to say. Not just in words, but in energy and intention.

It doesn’t mean saying everything you think or believe all the time. It’s not a constant broadcast, it’s a dialogue. A conversation with yourself and with others. Because deep down, I don’t want to just blurt out: “Even though I don’t sound like it, I’m French. Deal with it.” I want to share the truth of who I am in a way that makes someone want to hear it. To offer just enough awareness, just enough space, that maybe, even for a moment, they lean in instead of pulling away.

It’s not about softening the truth. It’s about choosing connection.

So the deeper question becomes, how do we express something meaningful without dominating, fading, or losing ourselves in the process?

Maybe that’s the quiet magic of being real. When we speak from alignment, not to impress or convince, but to connect, we make space for something bigger ... the other person might bring their truth, too. Our honesty becomes an opening, not a wall. A bridge, not a performance. Being real doesn’t push people away. It draws them closer. Not because we tried to fit in, but because we allowed ourselves to be seen. And that’s where true belonging lives. Not in blending in but in being seen.

Now, when it comes up, I say I’m both French and American. It feels true. It reflects who I am on the inside.

And you know what? It lands.

Upcoming Offerings

• The Grounded Leader - Willow Workplace

  The pilot program is launching this January at Willow Workplace! A 8-week training program that uses mindfulness to build your own AI leadership coach in ChatGPT - tailored to your personal values, goals, and growth themes. Only 4 spots left. We meet in-person once a week. Reach out if you're curious!

• Garden Yoga – Willow Workplace

  Fridays, November 14 & 21 · 12–1 PM

  Join me in Willow’s beautiful garden for a dynamic, vinyasa style yoga class. Bring layers and your mat. Open to the public, $25 via Venmo/zelle/cash or book on Calendly. Free for Willow Members.

• Gratitude Practice

  Thursday, November 20 · 12PM

  What is gratitude, really? Let’s find out together! Join me for a 30-minute gratitude practice on Tuesday, November 18 to set the energy as we head into Thanksgiving. We’ll settle the nervous system, attune to the body, and gently open the heart so gratitude can flow—simple, spacious, and real. Bring a journal for any sparks of clarity that may come through.

• Winter Visual Meditation 7 Chakras Class Series (registration coming soon)

  Join an intimate community on a journey to build a more intentional and aligned life. The 7 Chakra Series is a visual meditation experience designed to awaken your imagination, deepen self-awareness, and rewire your inner landscape. We meet every other Thursday at 12 pm at Arrillaga Center starting January 8th.

• Private Sessions I’m available for 1:1 or group sessions—whether you’re looking to deepen your meditation practice, work through something personal, or create a tailored experience for your team or community. Reach out.

• Schedule. Check out the full and updated schedule on my website.

Wishing you the courage to speak when it’s true, the clarity to pause when it’s kind, and the wisdom to trust that your presence is already enough.

With truth,
Mathilde